The Date with the Last Self-Help Book
I've been to Wayne Dyer and back
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The Date with the Last Self-Help Book
I reached the end of the self-help reading rainbow.
The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide to Unshakable Performance was on my teen’s assigned summer reading list. Like a hawk spotting a field mouse from 100 yards away, as soon as I saw the book by sports psychologist Dr. Nate Zinsser on the coffee table I swooped in and devoured it.
How Much Help Do I Need?
Apparently, I need a lot of help.
You could say I’ve been on a self-help bender since 1999. I don’t care to know the percentage of my life I’ve spent engrossed in books by Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay, Eckhart Tolle, and their inbred author-cousins. Each personal-growth discovery soon led me to the next, as the all-knowing gurus traded book-blurb endorsements for one another.
There was something comforting about the belief that self-actualization was just around the corner, in a new release out this fall!
What I found in The Confident Mind is a book that gives the last word on mental performance. Two takeaways in particular settled the case: with this book, my search for a mental-anguish cure can be put to rest.
Aha #1: Make Friends with Negative Self-Talk
Zinsser’s book is littered with examples from his coaching clients and other top performers in various fields. Their level of success proved irrelevant when it came to battling the inevitable creep of self-doubt.
As the success experienced by these superstars grew to higher planes and bigger arenas, the Negative Nelly in their heads just came along for the ride. Nelly never gets off the bus!
The only thing to do, says Zinsser, is learn to effectively and continuously talk back to the voice that insists on keeping you down. If you’re thinking, “I’ve read this elsewhere,” you’re correct. Zinsser cites many examples from other authors who have illustrated this concept.
Aha #2: Winning is by Choice, Not Chance
This idea, which Zinsser touches on throughout the book before really hitting you over the head with it, has to do with making a decision about how much discomfort you’re willing to endure in the name of excellence.
The discomfort stems with needing to be steadfast, and even vocal, in your belief that you’re the best at what you do. Zinsser says we’re socialized to blend with the masses, and painting ourselves as a winner ruffles feathers.
Zinsser insists that the folks he has coached who’ve broken the mold and gotten the gold would not have achieved the same successes without a deep belief they deserved it. As such, Zinsser offers, the choice is yours. Stick your neck out to become great, and own it, or simply be…
Normal.
Find Your Confident Mind
While I am 100% serious when I say I’ll never seek out another self-help book in my lifetime, I reserve the right to pick this one up anytime I need a boost.
It’s filled with exercises to help you go head-to-head with the demonic little Nelly in your head, and offers the reminder that Normal Life is available anytime you want it.
The irony, I guess, is while easing into the comfort of normality with the masses (because normal sounds like a lot less work), there’s still one character who will be breathing down your neck.
Nelly’s going to need you to explain yourself.