If you got an email with a ⚽ in the subject line this past week, I’m probably your kid’s new coach. Assistant Coach, technically, but titles aren’t important to me.
Until our season opener this morning, my responsibilities had been limited to shagging balls at practice (the fun way to describe the relentless pursuit of loose balls). It’s my first time coaching my own child, so I wanted to keep things chill.
The chill left my system the moment we squared off against another team in the parochial league at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday. I got into it! The kids played their hearts out until the buzzer rang, and then shuffled back to the bench with a 3-3 draw. They looked defeated by first-game errors and shots that missed the goal.
I realized I had to come up with something - and fast - as the de facto Ted Lasso.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I’d like to make my first Coach Speech ever. May I?” I looked at the head coach, not wanting to steal his thunder. “Sure!” he said, probably wondering why I wasn’t fetching him Gatorade.
I turned to the kids and asked, “How many practices do you have in a week?” “TWO!” they shouted. “Nope!” I could barely contain my glee. “You have SEVEN practices… because you play soccer every day at recess!” I’m pretty sure they were all tickled by this keen insight. “So you can get out there all week and work on the things you…”
Don’t say ‘messed up,’ Ann…
I looked into a dozen pairs of eyes. These kids spanned the entire spectrum of soccer talent, and yet any one of them could outrun, outkick, and out-headbutt me. Humility was in order. “You can work on things you wish you’d done differently,” I continued. “And even coach EACH OTHER! And… way to go! You did great today!”
Are we going to quote any of that on a poster and sell it at Borders Bookstore? No. But it was a solid start. For them, and for me.
Meet Me After Dinner
What’s funnier: the description of a Fart Walk, or Nicki Marie’s reaction to it?
A Mom-ent of Silence
I’m taking a minute to think about Mom Soccer, Friday mornings, 2021-2022. Rest in peace. Balls were kicked (badly, for the most part), and friendships were made.
Some of the moms read this newsletter! Hello, ladies!
Don’t Stop Believing
I feel as though I’ve seen a million inspirational sports movies, but the only ones I can remember are Rocky and Miracle. If you have a favorite (or a favorite locker room speech scene), lay it on me in the comments.
Until next week, friends!
⚽ Call Me Coach