For a split second, I was tempted to write today’s newsletter in ChatGPT.
This happened when I realized I’d soon need my computer charger, and at very the same moment, I started to type “cards against humanity film festival” into my Google search bar.
My computer battery was as depleted as a camel with hump-sag. My brain must have glitched, and I accidentally began to type the word “charger.”
Google was pretty sure I wanted to type “ChatGPT.” It presented me with the option. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and resisted!
My original thoughts live to see another day. And here they are, in “Sunday Funnies, Vol. 14.”
Memory-Making Be Stressing Me Out
Heart-shaped pancakes do not appear in nature.
Social media is a bad idea to begin with, but anything Tikky, Grammy, or Booky on a Hallmark holiday invites instant self-loathing. Someone is always celebrating better.
On Valentine’s day, all it took was seeing one mom lovingly squirting pancake batter into the shape of a heart for me to shut apps down like a military op gone bad. Thoughts whirled.
Where did she get a pancake squirter?
How much earlier would I have had to wake up to make this happen?
If you didn’t post the pancakes on social media, did they even happen?
Pancake shapes are harmless, you insist, and posting these sweet acts of love is inspirational. But I knew there were even more egregious Level-10-parenting insults waiting to smack me in the face for the rest of the day.
This Valentine’s Day, I chose mediocrity. Next year, I’ll consider posting the type of content I’d welcome in my feed.
Unsupervised child makes cereal-and-banana breakfast.
Mom gets child to school on time.
Mom remembers to say, “I love you,” before the car door slams.
You know, the real-life-hero stuff that algorithms hate.
All the inspiration I have to offer you is a really good pancake recipe from a Gwyneth Paltrow cookbook. I’ve made this recipe dozens of times and never squirted the batter. So far, no one has complained. As long as you have your coffee first, everything turns out delicious.
What’s that? You want more ideas like the pancake choo-choo train? Ugh. Fine.
Filmmaker Support Opportunity (Free!)
Have you heard of Daniel Sinclair? You’re about to.
Daniel Sinclair is the writer/director who will soon win the Cards Against Humanity Film Festival for his outstanding short movie called The Breakthrough.
The Breakthrough is funny and smart, with a story you won’t soon forget. Nine other films are finalists in the online festival. I’m casting my vote for Daniel to become the $100,000 grand prize winner.
Want to see The Breakthrough? I have a handful of free-access codes to give away. Just click, comment, or message me to get one!
Alternatively, you can purchase a fun movie box with the tickets and extra goodies for $16.99 at Target. You can also buy a standalone ticket for $14.99.
The deadline to vote is 11:59 PM PT on Sunday, March 31, 2024. And you can’t vote unless you watch all the short films, so get on it now.
The Roastest with the Mostest
I’ve been thinking about comedy roasts lately. Proof that if a joke’s truly funny, it’s not mean.
And then, there was the time Norm McDonald took the stage with note cards.
Here he is roasting his buddy Bob Saget. Norm’s not mean. Instead, you’re about to see one of the silliest videos on the internet. May these funny fellas both rest in peace.
See you next week, friends!
Memory-Making Be Stressing Me Out